I realize that after retiring, I have a lot more time to recollect and think about things. I mean, before, there might have been a few minutes here and there, but nothing like having a clear schedule to boggle the mind with thoughts. In fact, sometimes I look for stuff to do.
There is always something that needs tidied up, a bill paid, a shelf dusted, laundry to tend. But, of course, I spend a lot of my 'down' time crocheting, when away from domestic duties.
In recent months I think I've learned something about myself. Maybe I'm a little OCD about certain things. When I was very ill this last February and March -- pretty much confined to the recliner -- I would look up on the shelves and be repulsed by the dust. I wanted to get up and clean it but literally didn't have the strength to walk across the room, let alone get out of the chair without help ----- or dust the shelf! I literally couldn't understand why it wasn't bothering anyone else! Hahaha.
But it bugged me none-the-less! It shouldn't have mattered. My husband even told my son that he didn't know I was such a picky and particular person. (I'd tell him the soup wasn't warm enough, the toast was too dark). I didn't realize I was looking ungrateful. I appreciated all his efforts. He was there for me 24/7. Cook, chauffeur, personal shopper, housekeeper, everthing!
Then it struck me, maybe I am picky! Being the first time I'd really ever had to rely on someone else for literally everything, I didn't realize I was coming off as complaining. Before, I could take care of things to my own liking! During those months I was at the mercy of others. I guess I wasn't the best patient.
Of course, now I'm back to caring for myself, my husband, my home. Things are back to normal, so to speak. But I am learning that I'm not quite as meek and humble as I should be in all circumstances! Learning hard truths can sting a little. But they should always make us grow and strive to be better.
Until next time, friends. Grateful and blessed. kellie
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